Life is all about balance. Mumma, you were an example of maintaining that balance in delicate situations. You were kind but didn’t let people abuse you, you trusted but didn’t allow anyone to deceive you, you were content but never stopped improving yourself.
Mumma, although you were religious, you did not believe in messengers of God – the false Pundits. This was because you had first hand experience of them conning our extended family members. You were of the opinion that if these people had any real powers, they would make their own lives better and would not go from door to door cheating others. Despite this–ours being a big joint family, we had pundits visit us quite often! They were invited to our home on major festivals to perform special ceremonies or to consult on auspicious dates. However, you would never let Manoj get near any of them! Manoj had a special chemistry with these people, and found it very satisfying to hassle the pundits he considered conmen. He would go to all sorts of lengths to intimidate them, confront them, and ridicule them. Mumma you were always nervous on special occasions like wedding ceremonies or big festivals as Manoj was so unpredictable and nobody knew what he might say or do to upset these highly respected pundits. You used to tell him to stay away and not speak at all while the rituals went on. This included visits to temples, where even until today, Manoj’s presence is mainly for touristic and fun reasons and not to do with God or religion at all!
It is so true that balance is not something you find, it is something you create. This is what you had to do all the time–maintain a delicate balance between the expectations of the family, the respect that pundits expected, and Manoj’s undeterred attitude towards them. Kudos to you!

Mangoes, mangoes, mangoes..Mumma, you and mangoes had a long history together. Not only did you enjoy ripe mangoes with all meals and in all forms, I recall how while waiting for ripe mangoes to hit the market you used to be so creative with enjoying कच्चा आम (raw mango). Your magic touch would turn raw mangoes into inviting preparations like mango pickle in oil, mango pickle in sugar, in jaggery, in गरम मसाला (All spice), mango chutney, आम का पन्ना (raw mango juice), mango salad and much more.
I recall we used to be so disappointed when we would see raw mangoes dropping off the trees and getting wasted in some countries like Ghana, where the locals did not know much about the uses of raw mango. You and I would make different pickles and chutneys and have all our local friends and family taste them. We would then share our recipes with them just so they could also enjoy abundant raw mangoes.
I have to say that though you got a chance to savour mangoes from all over the world, be it the Apple mangoes of Kenya, Kent mangoes from Ghana, Ataulfo from Mexico, Amba from Sri Lanka, Mohanbhog from Bangladesh, or the most popular Indian variety of Alphonso you were simply endeared by the Dusheri from your home state, Uttar Pradesh and सोने पर सुहागा (cherry on the cake) would be if it was Dusheri from Malihabaad. You and mangoes mumma, I could go on and on and on..

Fruits were a passion for you Mumma. Your love of fruits, especially the Mango, the so-called king of fruits in India, was just a level above any thing else. It would be appropriate to say you were infatuated with mangoes.

For you, there was a time for every fruit but not for mangoes. You could have mangoes with bread, with rice, with roti, by itself, in shakes, in a dessert or just as a snack at anytime of the day. The irony however was that your type 2 diabetes held you back in the past couple of decades. We recall how you would find excuses to have a mango in place of a regular meal or even skip a meal just to have a mango in its entirety.

Mumma, your passion for sarees and your collection of sarees was amazing. The saree, a timeless icon of fashion and one of the most gorgeous attires in this world, was also your favorite thing to wear. I recall the heap of your starched exquisite cotton sarees piled in neat rows in your closet. You did not leave any stone unturned when it came to the tedious process of maintaining cotton sarees that you loved and always kept ready to wear. You were so meticulous that you often wore 4 or 5 different sarees each day. I recall you just had to find a reason to change into a fresh one. One to sleep in, one to start the day, one for lunch, one to go for evening walk, another one for a dinner out and then again a nice soft unstarched cozy one for the good night sleep.
As the seasons took turns and leaves started falling off the trees in autumn, it was time for the ritual of swapping cotton sarees in your closet with silk sarees to welcome winter. It was so much fun to go through your collection as the seasons changed.
Your elegance in sarees was simply unmatchable. As they say elegance is a beauty that never fades and never goes out of style. It was so true for you. My note today is an ode to you and the Saree: with its radiance, vigor and variety, it is six yards of pure grace, elegance and beauty. Your love for, and exquisite choice of sarees signified the poise and grace that you will always be remembered for.

Every weekend morning like the one today reminds Manoj and I of all the weekend mornings when papa and everybody else used to crave ताज़ा नाश्ता (freshly made breakfast) and you came up with your masterpieces like मटर के समोसे (pea stuffed samosa), आलू की टिकींया (stuffed potato pancakes), हलुवा नगौड़ी (semolina sweet porridge and crisps) and much more. We miss those finger licking dishes every weekend of every month now.
The precision with which you made all the scrumcious पकवान (festival time sweet and savories) was breathtaking. लड्डू (ladoo), गुज़िया, सेव, पापड़ी, फ़ूल, कुपड़ि, and गजक, you name it and we had you, our expert culinary master make it for us. Your succulent दही की गुज़िया (stuffed lentil balls in yogurt) is still the most popular dish at all of my house parties.
Mumma I am glad I made you write down some of the family recipes for us and learnt a few others from you. Having said that, your expert guidance and scrutiny will be missed. Life will not be the same again without that sweet to the ears comment “ ज़रा सा और भून दे” (roast it just a little more).
It will not be incorrect to say that food is everything we are. It’s an extension of all our feelings, be it our nationalist feeling, ethnic feeling or our family history. For us more than anything else, it’s inseparable from you. Food is the ingredient that binds us together as family.

With the simple living that you believed in, your food choices were also very simple. As you were vegetarian all your life, you mentioned to me once that no animals need to die in order for you to live. You consumed just the plants in your lifetime. Your food was grown and harvested, not born and killed.
Your body was a temple, not a tomb like for many of us.
I remember during parties we would tease you and ask you to try something like tandoori chicken or fish or eggs and often joked that you only had side dishes for your main meal. You however, always responded saying that you will have to take another birth to turn into a carnivore.
Your love for veggies went along with your interest in growing veggies at home. You thoroughly enjoyed the kitchen gardens we had in our homes- be it Binaguri, Dehradun, Bhatinda or Tezpur in India,as well as in other countries. We used to have such good crops while living in Canada, Kenya and Ghana. हमारे खेत सोना उगलते थे ( literal translation being -our farms produced gold). I still remember that sparkle in your eyes and glow on your face when you would see a seed sprouting or a flower blossoming into a fruit. Miss you so much Mumma!