Mumma, you were so talented. More than 6 decades ago, it was unusual for a woman from a small town like Holipura to attain a university degree or pursue a masters degree, but you did. You had a double masters. You were ahead of the rest of the world mentally and physically. You were the first working woman of the Mehra clan. Going out for work however, did not keep you away from regular household chores or honing your other unique skills like knitting, crochet, embroidery, shuttle work and much more. I am so fortunate to have been able to learn arts like shuttle work from you- that are now going extinct. Apart from you, I actually do not know anybody in the world who knows how to work those beautiful intricate laces on a shuttle pin. I recall as soon as I learnt this rare craft from you I made some flower motifs for one of my wedding sarees that I still have and cherish till today. The compliments I get even now on this saree and on the shuttle work I put on it is truly flattering.
I remember how you used to laugh when I made mistakes while crafting and say it was not a mistake- just a unique creation. I do craft like no one is watching. Your encouragement and appreciation over all these years is to thank for that. Crafting is now like a medicine for me.You understood me so well and knew that I find solace in keeping my hands busy and creating something that is handmade and has a personal touch. After all, happiness is handmade. On the lighter side I craft so that I don’t kill people. Jokes apart, you were so crafty that you even made people- people like us who cannot help but miss you so terribly.

Mumma, we can never repay you for your kindness and generosity.

तू खा ले। “You should eat it” is the most famous mummy phrase in our family. Coined by you Mumma, for the delicious meals you would cook, making sure there will be no leftovers. Your magic of making sure everyone would have a good meal even if nothing was left for you in the end always irritated us. When you have a great dish why not have it more than once. But your philosophy was…”you have it, तू खा ले, don’t worry about me”.
Your generosity was a blessing, you always gave more than you could, gave freely, and out of pure love. All this without expecting anything in return. To top it off, being generous in spirit was the wonderful way of your life. It is said that you do not have to be rich to be generous and no one has become poor by giving. You truly embodied this philosophy.

Sometimes I feel bad about how much of karela (bitter gourd) juice I fed you in your lifetime in the hope of getting rid of your diabetes. I recall plucking fresh green tender karelas every morning off our homegrown vine in Accra and making the most beautiful looking deep green juice. Now I can say that I tried it once and felt guilty since then for making you go through the torture of having that most awful and bitter concoction I had tasted ever. Only after tasting it myself, I understood why you used to make those faces! It was only then that I started mixing it with cucumber or Loki (bottle gourd) juice. It seemed like it got a little better but I know it was still bitter. Thanks for being such a darling and listening to me.
I know you always believed that the greatest wealth is health. It is just like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it, and you endured that bitter concoction to keep a deadly condition at a distance.

Mumma, thinking about some interesting anecdotes about you, I am reminded of the times when you started visiting us in the different countries we lived in. Though you knew English well, you were hesitant to speak the language. As they say someone who speaks broken English knows another language well. Hindi was your forte and that is what came to your mind instinctively. I recall you would give instructions to the house maid subconsciously in Hindi and then wait for her to complete the chore you asked. After a while you would complain that she doesn’t listen to you and then we would remind you to recall if you actually gave the instruction in a language that she understands. It was definitely hilarious! Having said this, you did have that chemistry of getting along with everyone you met- and the house keeper was always one of them. Soon into your visit, they would understand things that you did not even say and in the meantime you would get used to talking to them in English. I guess more funny situations arose when you would return to India and be talking in English to maids there and they would be confused and looking at you in awe. It would take a few days for you to get adjusted to speaking Hindi again, then the whole process would restart with the next visit!

Mumma, while you traveled to so many countries of the world, you also made it to most of the exciting places in India. As vast as India is, you managed to travel from coast to coast, land to land, north to south and east to west. Train, bus, boat or by air, you tried everything. Nothing stopped you from exploring our vast and amazing country. You travelled so much with papa for work and for pleasure by going some place every other year. Vacation calories never counted for you.
Being born in India is a boon in itself. The sub continent as it is rightly called is the cradle of human race, mother of history and birth place of human speech. The fact that strengths lie in differences not in similarities is so true for our country. You enjoyed the different sights and sounds, beautiful landscapes, cultural diversity, delicious food, and friendly faces of each and every place you visited. Kashmir was of course one place you wanted to go and could not make that trip in your lifetime though we continued to try to make this trip until the last few months of your life. As they say if there is heaven on earth it is in Kashmir, it seems you were to be in heaven for once and for all.
You traveled not to escape life but so life doesn’t escape you.

Mumma, heaven must be beautiful now as they have got you.
On thanksgiving day, I am writing today about the most adorable grandma, a role model, a friend and the love of our kids. The combination of warmth, kindness, laughter, love and intelligence that you were, was a blessing for them. Your consistently overlooking their faults, praising every success and encouraging every dream made them all amazing people. You held their tiny hands for just a little while but their hearts for ever. I can say with pride that with your guidance and being always there made our kids what they are today. They have literally grown and blossomed in your hands and we are thankful to you and the almighty for it.
Your love was always stronger than distance, more powerful than time and transcends the other world you are in now.
They now have a guardian angle in heaven, they call her Dadda.

Despite being born in a small town and growing up in an extremely conservative society, it was astonishing to see how progressive you were. You had the ability to think beyond the impossible and outside the obvious! Be it clothing, food, social norms or taboos, you took small steps in the right direction that ended up being some of the biggest steps of your life. An example that comes to mind is that even though you had never worn anything but a saree until a few years ago- you opened yourself up, dropped all your inhibitions and adapted to what was practical and convenient in the modern world. You not only changed your dress code, you also accepted dresses for your daughters and grand daughters that were considered very modern!
We have examples of younger people in our family who grew up in a liberal environment but still live in the fear of being wrong in the eyes of society, have rigid ideas and no flexibility to adapt to anything new. You truly believed that progress is impossible without change & those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. You made our lives so much more fun and enjoyable with your progressive mindset!

Continuing to talk about your love for life and sports, today let me tell the world how much you loved board games and how competitive you were!
While playing a board game your happiness was simply in beating the opponent, and you played so intently that you were ready to lose every friend in that moment! The best part of board games is the people you play with. And, you thoroughly enjoyed playing with one and all- young, old, kids, friends, family, neighbours. You also mastered every type of game- cards, chess, mahjong, poker, carom board, rummy, UNO or checkers! Mumma, you were such a delight to play with.
All of us will forever miss you and your antics while playing board games.

Mumma, you did not miss out on watching or playing any sports. It’s not how you bowled, it’s how you rolled. Bowling is a sport of skill and strength and you were a natural, even though you only tried it out so late in life! Your finesse and aim meant the balls went on strike despite the slow pace of your throws.
Missing you so much and at the same time enjoying recollecting your memories.