Mummy you had a special way of getting along with people of any age or background, more so with kids. And this includes not just kids in the family, or those in the extended family, but also all the kids in the neighborhood. You believed that time spent playing with children is never wasted.
It is so true that the way we deal with our kids becomes their inner voice. The kids learnt so much from you! Whether it was while playing a game or listening to all the interesting stories you had to tell. You knew very well that if a child can’t learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach them the way they can learn. You enjoyed playing board and card games with them and in the process you taught them so much. People don’t stop playing because they grow old, rather they grow old because they stop playing. This was never true for you as well. You played till the last day of your life, not only with the kids in our family but with the kids of all our friends in different parts of the world. So many of our friends still recall and compliment us for your way of getting along with them and their kids on all your visits to their homes. I truly believe that the reason you got along so well with people was because you did not expect them to be like you. If getting along with others is an art then you perfected and even improved it. You brought so much joy to peoples’ lives and as a consequence to your own as well. You remained forever young!

Mumma, today is about your passion for video games. You held on to an old Nokia phone for over 10 years only because it had your favorite game- Tetris. Decades ago you had a Nintendo Gameboy with over 125 games that you clung onto so dearly for a very long time! In fact, you once broke the screen of this game boy but got it fixed immediately to ensure you didn’t lose out on the levels you had earned! Lately you had switched over to your IPad and phone. One could see you secretly playing on your phone at 1 or 2 AM when you could not get to sleep. Your phone accompanied you all the time even to the hospital for your chemotherapy. You were lost in the world of video games and could play for hours at a stretch if nobody disturbed you. I guess what you learnt from the video games was that if you are having to face enemies on your journey then you are heading the right way. This spirit made you the most inspiring fighter, especially when it came to fighting the deadly cancer.
SUDOKU and crosswords were your other two favorites to pass time. After solving the ones published in newspaper sections you moved on to sudoku and crossword books. With many years of practice you would go for the hard ones and your purse always had a pencil and eraser ready at airports, planes, beaches and hospitals to take on new challenges.
We miss seeing you energetically playing all these games! Life is truly like a video game. You sometimes get zapped, sometimes you achieve success. Mumma, you were always a winner!

Today is the golden jubilee day of our celebration of your vibrant life. And what better way to celebrate it than by recounting the antics of those you loved the most: आपके तीन चिराग़ (your three sons).
Mumma, you were blessed with 3 of the most mischievous kids before they became adults. You had to manage their acts and discipline them through any and every means you had at your disposal (this once included using a Bata चप्पल (flip flop) for the more notorious ones like Manoj). I recall the stories you told us about dreading to go to visit Nani (grandma) in Agra or any other relatives with these 3 boys. They could get up to a lot of mischief and no one would know it was them. As they were almost the same age, they fought like crazy and would do bizarre things that no one could possibly think of. One classic incident was when papa got a nice mechanical airplane from abroad for Atul Bhaiya and as soon as you and the 3 brats reached Agra, even before the intended recipient of the gift could lay his hands on it, the boys opened it up and split it apart into pieces. You were so embarrassed in situations like this but always resolved the awkwardness by gracefully moving on and trying to find humor in it. Also, when you had to travel for the first time with Papa to Bangkok and Hong Kong, you decided to leave the boys behind with Madhu Bhabhi for about 15 days. Such was the challenge in managing these kids that after those 15 days Madhu Bhabhi ने तौबा की (swore to herself) that never again would she consider babysitting this mafia. They say “Everybody knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight”. I guess this was very true for the three of them and they used to get into fights at the drop of a hat.
Surprisingly enough, the three of them sobered down so much over the years that it is unbelievable to see how formal and respectful they are towards each other now. You surely had some special skills to be able to survive the notoriety of these three over those early years and then were rewarded with this extreme changeover in the later years. Cheers to your 77 years with these three brats!

Life is all about balance. Mumma, you were an example of maintaining that balance in delicate situations. You were kind but didn’t let people abuse you, you trusted but didn’t allow anyone to deceive you, you were content but never stopped improving yourself.
Mumma, although you were religious, you did not believe in messengers of God – the false Pundits. This was because you had first hand experience of them conning our extended family members. You were of the opinion that if these people had any real powers, they would make their own lives better and would not go from door to door cheating others. Despite this–ours being a big joint family, we had pundits visit us quite often! They were invited to our home on major festivals to perform special ceremonies or to consult on auspicious dates. However, you would never let Manoj get near any of them! Manoj had a special chemistry with these people, and found it very satisfying to hassle the pundits he considered conmen. He would go to all sorts of lengths to intimidate them, confront them, and ridicule them. Mumma you were always nervous on special occasions like wedding ceremonies or big festivals as Manoj was so unpredictable and nobody knew what he might say or do to upset these highly respected pundits. You used to tell him to stay away and not speak at all while the rituals went on. This included visits to temples, where even until today, Manoj’s presence is mainly for touristic and fun reasons and not to do with God or religion at all!
It is so true that balance is not something you find, it is something you create. This is what you had to do all the time–maintain a delicate balance between the expectations of the family, the respect that pundits expected, and Manoj’s undeterred attitude towards them. Kudos to you!

Mangoes, mangoes, mangoes..Mumma, you and mangoes had a long history together. Not only did you enjoy ripe mangoes with all meals and in all forms, I recall how while waiting for ripe mangoes to hit the market you used to be so creative with enjoying कच्चा आम (raw mango). Your magic touch would turn raw mangoes into inviting preparations like mango pickle in oil, mango pickle in sugar, in jaggery, in गरम मसाला (All spice), mango chutney, आम का पन्ना (raw mango juice), mango salad and much more.
I recall we used to be so disappointed when we would see raw mangoes dropping off the trees and getting wasted in some countries like Ghana, where the locals did not know much about the uses of raw mango. You and I would make different pickles and chutneys and have all our local friends and family taste them. We would then share our recipes with them just so they could also enjoy abundant raw mangoes.
I have to say that though you got a chance to savour mangoes from all over the world, be it the Apple mangoes of Kenya, Kent mangoes from Ghana, Ataulfo from Mexico, Amba from Sri Lanka, Mohanbhog from Bangladesh, or the most popular Indian variety of Alphonso you were simply endeared by the Dusheri from your home state, Uttar Pradesh and सोने पर सुहागा (cherry on the cake) would be if it was Dusheri from Malihabaad. You and mangoes mumma, I could go on and on and on..

Fruits were a passion for you Mumma. Your love of fruits, especially the Mango, the so-called king of fruits in India, was just a level above any thing else. It would be appropriate to say you were infatuated with mangoes.

For you, there was a time for every fruit but not for mangoes. You could have mangoes with bread, with rice, with roti, by itself, in shakes, in a dessert or just as a snack at anytime of the day. The irony however was that your type 2 diabetes held you back in the past couple of decades. We recall how you would find excuses to have a mango in place of a regular meal or even skip a meal just to have a mango in its entirety.

Mumma, your passion for sarees and your collection of sarees was amazing. The saree, a timeless icon of fashion and one of the most gorgeous attires in this world, was also your favorite thing to wear. I recall the heap of your starched exquisite cotton sarees piled in neat rows in your closet. You did not leave any stone unturned when it came to the tedious process of maintaining cotton sarees that you loved and always kept ready to wear. You were so meticulous that you often wore 4 or 5 different sarees each day. I recall you just had to find a reason to change into a fresh one. One to sleep in, one to start the day, one for lunch, one to go for evening walk, another one for a dinner out and then again a nice soft unstarched cozy one for the good night sleep.
As the seasons took turns and leaves started falling off the trees in autumn, it was time for the ritual of swapping cotton sarees in your closet with silk sarees to welcome winter. It was so much fun to go through your collection as the seasons changed.
Your elegance in sarees was simply unmatchable. As they say elegance is a beauty that never fades and never goes out of style. It was so true for you. My note today is an ode to you and the Saree: with its radiance, vigor and variety, it is six yards of pure grace, elegance and beauty. Your love for, and exquisite choice of sarees signified the poise and grace that you will always be remembered for.

Every weekend morning like the one today reminds Manoj and I of all the weekend mornings when papa and everybody else used to crave ताज़ा नाश्ता (freshly made breakfast) and you came up with your masterpieces like मटर के समोसे (pea stuffed samosa), आलू की टिकींया (stuffed potato pancakes), हलुवा नगौड़ी (semolina sweet porridge and crisps) and much more. We miss those finger licking dishes every weekend of every month now.
The precision with which you made all the scrumcious पकवान (festival time sweet and savories) was breathtaking. लड्डू (ladoo), गुज़िया, सेव, पापड़ी, फ़ूल, कुपड़ि, and गजक, you name it and we had you, our expert culinary master make it for us. Your succulent दही की गुज़िया (stuffed lentil balls in yogurt) is still the most popular dish at all of my house parties.
Mumma I am glad I made you write down some of the family recipes for us and learnt a few others from you. Having said that, your expert guidance and scrutiny will be missed. Life will not be the same again without that sweet to the ears comment “ ज़रा सा और भून दे” (roast it just a little more).
It will not be incorrect to say that food is everything we are. It’s an extension of all our feelings, be it our nationalist feeling, ethnic feeling or our family history. For us more than anything else, it’s inseparable from you. Food is the ingredient that binds us together as family.

With the simple living that you believed in, your food choices were also very simple. As you were vegetarian all your life, you mentioned to me once that no animals need to die in order for you to live. You consumed just the plants in your lifetime. Your food was grown and harvested, not born and killed.
Your body was a temple, not a tomb like for many of us.
I remember during parties we would tease you and ask you to try something like tandoori chicken or fish or eggs and often joked that you only had side dishes for your main meal. You however, always responded saying that you will have to take another birth to turn into a carnivore.
Your love for veggies went along with your interest in growing veggies at home. You thoroughly enjoyed the kitchen gardens we had in our homes- be it Binaguri, Dehradun, Bhatinda or Tezpur in India,as well as in other countries. We used to have such good crops while living in Canada, Kenya and Ghana. हमारे खेत सोना उगलते थे ( literal translation being -our farms produced gold). I still remember that sparkle in your eyes and glow on your face when you would see a seed sprouting or a flower blossoming into a fruit. Miss you so much Mumma!