Mumma, on this journey of memories, as I continue to recount your travels across the world, I recall one of the most fun trips to Accra with your siblings. We had a blast with all you septuagenarians doing so many things for the first time. These were experiences and adventures that you had not attempted all of your lives. It was wonderful to watch the brief period for which you all threw caution to the wind and began living by my mantra – if you never try, you will never know.

Mumma, in these coming days my posts will feature memoirs from some of your near and dear ones in the extended family. I have been receiving a lot of thoughts about how you touched their lives in a special way. Being there for the family as a friend and as a supporter for youngsters was one of the highlights of your personality. 
Amita, Babita -our dear twin Suzies, as we call them, have expressed their gratitude and love for you for being there for them and having their back when they most needed it. They recall the times when they wanted to venture into new things in life but didn’t have too much backing for their initiatives. It was you who stood by them and provided them that needed encouragement. Young girls being independent and doing a lot of things on their own was unthinkable for parents in India at that time (about 3 decades ago). For everything like taking a train ride alone, to attending a NCC Camp (National Cadet Corps) in Bombay, making an unsupervised trip to a city like Hissar, enjoying after class college life, attending the Ganga sailing camp and much more, you were the rock behind them. You encouraged them to go for it and also convinced their parents and our strict tyrant भाभो (the great grandmother) to allow them to do these things. You facilitated exposure to new things and thereby helped prepare them better for whatever came next in their life. It must have been a quite an onerous process for them to learn to flow easily with new experiences, new challenges and new people that entered their lives. Your support made them take the chances they got in their lives as some things happen only once. Your constant presence made their journey towards emancipation and more freedom as young girls so much easier and for this they are eternally grateful to you.

This landmark 60th day of my tribute to you, Mumma, has to be about some anecdotes that probably nobody knows about, even in the close family. 
Often I am reminded of the times when I was newly married and as a young professional experiencing new things in my life. My most vivid memory is of the time when I had my first performance evaluation at work, and then the first time I attended a management training on gender sensitization (courtesy of CARE). You were the first and only one I talked to about these. I remember I was so impressed with the process that went into my first performance evaluation. The concept of providing feedback about what has gone right or wrong with an aim to improve in the future simply came across to me as a very fair and genuine process. I remember I suggested that you do an evaluation of all family members so that we all talk openly about what is good and bad and our expectations from each other with an aim to improve our relationships. At first you were shocked at this suggestion and found it difficult to imagine – all family members talking openly about anything and everything! The other thing I shared with you was what I learnt about gender sensitization in a 5 day management meeting. This was more than 25 years ago and this is one topic that is still not talked about sufficiently in India. I was so surprised and confused at the same time when I realized that societal norms have systematically and consciously been designed for women to grow up with the idea that sacrifice, submission and giving is a virtue only for them. What we consider संस्कार (values) is actually just a way to get women to fall in line with certain expectations. I recall you were also shocked to learn about these theories and found them quite absurd at that time. Having said that, I can say with utmost conviction that over the years these new concepts impressed you too. I could see behavioral changes in you and I would always find a supporter in you whenever I needed one.
I presume that the openness and direct communication in our relationship was the result of our frank conversations about these topics despite the fact that some people would not understand these issues even in today’s day and age.
I cannot say enough how much I miss talking to you and thinking aloud with you every single day.

 
The world is like a book and those who do not travel read only one page. You, it seems, in your life time had read more than half of the book. A true traveller’s journey is never complete, while we are still continuing our journey in this worldly world, you have departed on the eternal journey.
Mumma, your journey to the mesmerizing world of Egypt is something that I cannot ignore while reminiscing.
This was one trip that, as I recall, swept you off your feet. You felt like you were in a different world altogether. The glory of the Egyptian temples and tombs left you in awe and our visit to the Valley of Kings and Queens was simply breathtaking. The grandeur of mighty pyramids that look down on 40 centuries of mankind, the story of the unfinished obelisk, delicate papyrus paintings, floral perfumes, the wealth of history and the intricate crafts displayed in the museums amused you to a great extent. You loved your first ever cruise on the Nile river. The cruise ship itself, the pool, casino and the whimsical performances like the Tanura Egyptian skirt dance, belly dance and so much more that was on offer on the vessel kept you delighted. You found some kind of magical charm some in every place we visited together. We were in Cairo during Eid time and you witnessed for the first time the calling of azaan in a public area when muslims break their fast and have iftari. It was a stupendous experience of seeing so many people breaking fast together on hundreds of well laid out patio tables on the street. The harmony and openness with which christians and muslims lived together in Egypt was something you had not expected and were impressed by it.
It is a fact that travel makes us modest as we get to see what a small space we occupy in this grand world. This trip did just that for all of us and we’re glad we had you by our side on this wonderful journey.

Mumma, आपका अपने समधी और समधनों से प्यार भरा रिश्ता देखते ही बनता था और वो एक special mention की बात है। (Your special sweet relationship with your co-parents-in law is worth a special mention). It is not very often that we see the parents of a husband and wife get along well or enjoy each other’s company. In our case however, it is amazing how well you got along with not just the mothers of all your daughters in law but also their fathers. Living with co-parents in law at your sons’ homes for extended periods of time in different countries and cities, going out, playing games, going shopping, tourism trips- you did all of it with such ease. You liked each one of them and the best part of liking someone is when they like you back. They all loved being with you. Your warmth and अपनापन (ease) worked so well with them that it seemed like they turned out liking you more than they had planned. They may or may not have gotten a chance to say this to you personally but they all miss you and your company even today and with this post I am just being a messenger to tell this to you.

Usually the easiest and best way to clear your mind is to go for a long drive to nowhere. However for Delhites this is not an easy task considering the maddening traffic at all times of the day. For us though, this ‘nowhere’ used to be India Gate, which is actually pretty far from ‘nowhere’ if one considers its location and history.
The most prominent landmark of Delhi, this phenomenal monument carries names of more than 82,000 brave soldiers of the Indian Army who died during the First World War. The massive arch has the अमर जवान ज्योति (eternal flame of the immortal soldier) smoldering underneath it to honor those who sacrificed their lives in warfare (the flame has been burning for decades now) and is one of the most frequented places in Delhi.
Just the thought of going to India Gate at night is exciting for people who live to have fun. You were one of them. आप ही एक थे जो ever ready रहते थे (you were the only one who used to remain ever ready) for a late night drive to India gate. Often when the kids insisted on going for a drive to India Gate for the customary ice cream and soap bubble vendors and the classic bioscope show (a giant kaleidoscopic box that you peep in to through a pin hole. It has pictures that move through manual rotation and loud Bollywood songs playing in the background- old time cinema) you would be the only adult supporting them! You would try to convince all the reluctant unenthusiastic ones to get in the car despite their whining and complaints. You used to be the most lively soul during these visits marveling at each new toy or candy that the vendors had on display. Often you would humor the kids with surprise treats though secretly you wanted to try out the new toy or candy as much as the kids did. Mumma, these visits brought out the child in you like nothing else!

Today I am remembering you with an anecdote that always puts a smile on our faces. This is from a decade ago when we had just moved to Ghana. While giving you an overview of the house compound, we introduced you to the guards and you asked if they were armed. It was only then that we became curious, if they were in fact armed, and if so with what? Before I reveal the name of the weapon, let me tell you that we have asked many of our friends to take a guess at what the weapon could be and nobody has ever guessed it right! So, drumroll…….. it was a bow and arrow! We were shocked at the illusion of security we were living in but at same time could not stop laughing at how ridiculous the entire situation was.
Moving on with the story, you asked the guard to show the bow and arrow and how the guards used it. To our dismay they did not even know how to hold the arrow on the bow properly, let alone to take an aim. You then showed them how to use it. Thanks to our experience- as Indians, of celebrating the festival of Dusshera when we buy toy sized bow and arrows and learn to use them, you knew your way around the “weapon”. The guards were surprised and possibly quite embarrassed to see how the grandmother could use their weapon way better than them. To put the record straight, the bows and arrows soon got replaced with a baton for our house.
We made such good memories with you. Mummy, at that time, we didn’t even realize that we were making memories, we just knew that we were having fun.

As the saying goes, you can plan a perfect picnic but you cannot predict the weather. But, for us it was always the other way around. The child in you was excited at the slightest indication by इंद्रदेव (the God of rain) that it was going to rain. जब जब बादल घिर आते आप picnic मनाने के लिए मचल उठतीं थीं (the moment you saw clouds at the horizon, you would get so excited to go for a picnic). In other words, we used to bring our own weather to the picnic. Picnics always acquire a new meaning when they’re planned and enjoyed with loved ones. Picnics with you were always much more than eating a meal, they were truly more about a pleasurable state of mind.
As a result of perpetually hot and sweltering North Indian Summers, any sign of clouds as the messengers of rain brews a lot of excitement among everyone. I recall that when you were with us in Canada, all summer days seemed like picnic days and we often used to pack our meals and go to the lake side. My picnic basket was most used when you were around- across Kenya, Ghana, Srilanka, Bangladesh and Canada. All the kids still recall the jokes about going to Sanjay झील (Sanjay Lake) in Delhi each time there was a talk about planning a day out. For us, a picnic was only truly a Picnic when you were around. We treasure so many sweet memories of picnics with you. Miss you so much mumma!

मम्मा, आपका पान से प्यार जगज़ाहिर है। वो तो आपके दाँतों ने धोका दे दिया वरना आज भी तीसरी generation के बच्चे पेड़ वाले पंडितजी से पान ला रहे होते। (Mumma, your love for paan, the beetle leaf mouth freshener, was well known in the family. Your tooth decay years ago did not support your consumption of paan and unfortunately you had to give it up. Had that not been the case, our third generation kids would still have been running up to the paanwale punditji to get you your daily paan).
You were so addicted to it that you had to have one after every meal–breakfast, lunch and dinner in your heyday. आपका बस चलता तो “जब तक है जान तब तक है पान” सच हो जाता।
(If you had had your way, this routine would have continued until your last breath)
I recall you enjoying paan once again over later years (of course with lesser condiments and beetle nut) when we had plenty of leaves on our vine in Accra, Ghana. We even carried the leaves around on our trips to friends’ and families’ homes in Canada and US. You took so much pride in sharing our homegrown paan with one and all. The twinkle in your eye as you proudly boasted that it had been grown in our own backyard bore testimony to your love for not just the paan but also the spirit of sharing and good times that the delicacy stands for.